The BIG WEIGH IN was yesterday...... I am down 1.4 lbs. I'll take it. Grand total ... down 20lbs!
Really I contemplated not going... I was pretty sure I had blown it this week. I started out really good. On Fridays though I usually have a fried catfish dinner, but I eat extra sensible during the day to account for the extra amount of calories I am eating that evening. I did not do that this past friday...at all. So I thought ..okay fine, I'll do better on Saturday, again, good during the day, shot to hell that evening. No worries..I can pull it back in line on Sunday...same story, good in the day the evening sucked. By Monday I was good... ALL DAY, same with Tuesday, almost, if we don't count the 2 bags of cheez it crackers from the vending machine and the last of the handmade dark chocolate with sea salt in my desk. So by Wednesday, I was pretty sure there would be bad news... and I did not want to face it..but I did and the out come was good.
I have learned something I am pretty sure I did not know before hand, courage is facing fear. The courage to face that scale yesterday was big for me. I did not want to fail. I had damn butterflies in my stomach when I stood on the scale! But, I was also happy I had the courage to find out how bad I had done and not run and hide from it. Why lie to myself??
I have gone through sooo much in my life and I have been courageous a lot! I don't think I have ever really given myself credit for being courageous though. Not in my soul. I just sort of did it because it was the next logical step. I did not understand what it took really in me to make the next logical step. I was not really connected to it. It was automatic. Does that make sense? I understand that it is all relative, my story may not be as bad as your story or worse than your story. Everyone has a story and we are all courageous in our lives, some more than others. Am I the only one that does not give myself credit for that. I never really cheer myself on the way I do my children or my friends. I am not by biggest fan! WTF is that about? I am sure it is some deep seeded childhood issue...blah, blah, blah. It does not really matter, really it doesn't. What matters is right now.
Right now.. I am down 20 lbs, right now I am happy, right now I am courageous.
Peace!
Really I contemplated not going... I was pretty sure I had blown it this week. I started out really good. On Fridays though I usually have a fried catfish dinner, but I eat extra sensible during the day to account for the extra amount of calories I am eating that evening. I did not do that this past friday...at all. So I thought ..okay fine, I'll do better on Saturday, again, good during the day, shot to hell that evening. No worries..I can pull it back in line on Sunday...same story, good in the day the evening sucked. By Monday I was good... ALL DAY, same with Tuesday, almost, if we don't count the 2 bags of cheez it crackers from the vending machine and the last of the handmade dark chocolate with sea salt in my desk. So by Wednesday, I was pretty sure there would be bad news... and I did not want to face it..but I did and the out come was good.
I have learned something I am pretty sure I did not know before hand, courage is facing fear. The courage to face that scale yesterday was big for me. I did not want to fail. I had damn butterflies in my stomach when I stood on the scale! But, I was also happy I had the courage to find out how bad I had done and not run and hide from it. Why lie to myself??
I have gone through sooo much in my life and I have been courageous a lot! I don't think I have ever really given myself credit for being courageous though. Not in my soul. I just sort of did it because it was the next logical step. I did not understand what it took really in me to make the next logical step. I was not really connected to it. It was automatic. Does that make sense? I understand that it is all relative, my story may not be as bad as your story or worse than your story. Everyone has a story and we are all courageous in our lives, some more than others. Am I the only one that does not give myself credit for that. I never really cheer myself on the way I do my children or my friends. I am not by biggest fan! WTF is that about? I am sure it is some deep seeded childhood issue...blah, blah, blah. It does not really matter, really it doesn't. What matters is right now.
Right now.. I am down 20 lbs, right now I am happy, right now I am courageous.
Peace!
1 comment:
I am so proud of you!!! Keep it up CB! Keep it up!!!
One of my favorite all time sayings is 'Master Your Fear'
I love that you are doing just that!
Congratulations
Post a Comment